Lesbian Masturbation Monologue for the Horny Bi Mom

 I let my fingers slip down over my belly and down to my mound, and when I squeeze the lips together and roll them back and forth between my thumb and index finger, the wetness slishes and sloshes there and causes a stir deep within. At first my clit tingles and I enjoy the tease, but when it starts to burn, the feeling emanates from my swollen clit and engulfs the whole of my loins, the wet walls of my vagina spilling forth from my lips, and the ache signals my fingers and hands that they can tickle and tease all they want, but at some point, that will be far from enough as I have gone quickly over the edge...from the point where when I touch myself there I might be asking IF I would like to go all the way, and now, short of the ring of the phone or a knock on the door, or a time commitment, my pussy now aches to let this go and there is no turning back.

My mind wanders to what it does when I play with myself.  I get aroused in deep thoughts of not just the act of lesbian sexuality with her, but also for how it comes about and gets to the point where we both are beyond making out, and making love. I allow my fingertips to dally about in the soft hair of my full,trimmed, but admittedly, unfashionable these days not shaven bush and let my fingers mingle in the softness while I imagine two things; one, what it must feel like to any woman who touches me there, and two, my mind fast forwards over how much I enjoyed feeling ever other lovers bush and a snapshot in my memory simultaneously reminds me of how it felt to feel those tufts of fur between my fingertips, and also, what each individual womans pussy felt like and looked like up close and in the sovereign  moment just before my mouth engulfed each lovers  point of pleasure.  Oh that sweet moment most treasured of the seconds just before ...of the dampness, the smell of sex and excitement, the milliseconds passing by like months, and of first electric contact and mutual reaction.

With both hands I explore my anatomy there, once again to imagine what it feels like to someone loving me, and also, to reminisce about how different and unique every woman is down there and how fortunate I am to have enjoyed it first hand and to appreciate it as I believe so many women have missed out on the beauty of every woman's individuality there.  A different texture, folds of skin, of the mixtures of browns and pinks, of protruding and hidden clits and of the varieties of swelling, of the pure differences of basic anatomical placement for which there is so much variance, and of the freeze frames of each lover from the first with her soft pink smoothest folds, and easy to observe and arouse clitoris, to my latest with her more flattened mound and the more hidden treasure of her clit which yielded her uncontrollable and from that point steady shuddering and quivering in whatever way my fingers or tongue stimulated it or around it, such a wonderful discovery as she made me feel like she had never been touched in the ways I gave my love.

When I "jill off," (gosh I love that term lately) it is almost never totally spontaneous.  I have to put a towel down.  Let me emphasize HAVE to, and its always been that way since my teens.  There are a few times when I pick up the towel and realize "hmmm...not neccessary this time," but I never know, and most often, it is a good thing that whether I am arousing myself in bed or being aroused at images, vids, stories or conversation at the computer, the towel is something like a seatbelt ..I feel naked without it, and not in a good way.

I give love to myself by pulling my lips apart and entering with a finger not going all the way, and remembering of the women I made love to the pussy so widely accepting my first finger that I could instantly tell she wanted the second and third digit and the deeper the better, and on the other end of the spectrum, she whose muscles clinched down on my middle finger and let me know that was all she needed for the moment and that the way I was flicking her was good.

I most often masturbate by entering my orifice with my middle finger but buried no further than the second kuckle, while flicking the clit up and down with my thumb.  I should probably videotape it because it probably looks funny, and I have watched vids of women masturbating and haven't seen "my" technique duplicated.  I most often am running a romantic scenario of seduction in my mind while I am doing it, focusing much more on the hand holding, hugging and cuddling, and deep and meaningful kissing and making out that precedes anything orgasmic in making love to a woman.  As the tingles turn into shudders and sparks and my orgasm nears, I'll admit my thoughts become ever more sexual but I almost never think about anything wild or kinky as I approach my moment of truth.  I near orgasm and back down ...prolonging the ultimate until It cant be stopped ...so that when I am nearing the first one, the HUGE one, I get almost there, and then wind down, which is when I add a tickle or massage to my thighs or my breasts.  Playing with my boobs, where frankly, as gentle as I am with my pussy, one might be surprised in the throes of masturbation how hard I squeeze them and how hard I pinch my nipples and pull on them . .. yes, even sucking on them sometimes providing the duality of what it feels like to have them sucked, but most prominent in my mind at that moment, how good it feels to arouse a lover in that way.    Sometimes I come on the second ramp up to the moment ..sometimes its the tenth, and I have no way of describing which way is what way when I do it other than to say that my body clearly tells me that "its time ! "    Just as clearly as my body tells me that, it also tells me, almost as soon as my first come's last throb and pulse , whether the tingles say "thats enough, that was good," or, " I gotta do it again."

With my imagination in full swing when I masturbate, it is pretty much only the moments right before I come ...even just the last 30 seconds or so before I think about something that in real one on one sex would actually make me come.   I might be thinking about making out and luxuriating in the softness of our breasts smooshed togehter while we grind against each other, and then, as my mind says, "its time," the fantasy might change to her licking me, or tribbing me, fingering me, or another fantasy I think of very very often, masturbating for her while she watches me without judgement.  I moan and gasp if I am alone in the house ...always have felt better about making noises and letting them out without apology, while laughing about them after the orgasm subsides.   I don't use words ...you won't find me saying anything audible other than "oh" or "ahh," or "uhhh," (my aren't the vowels wonderful in the throes of sex)  with the possible exception that I use the word "fuck" when something feels especially good.  It comes out more like "ffffuuuuccck," elongated, as my eyes roll to the back of eyelids. 

And in the drawer of the nightstand ...my girls best friends.  I probably only use a vib about 10% or so of the times I masturbate,(that varies like everything else) and I certainly understand the women that use them exclusively, as there was a time in my life when I not only used a vibrator everyday, but felt quite addicted to it enough to where I almost needed a 12 step program to break myself away from it in realizing that in "real sex" it was too difficult to achieve a natural orgasm.   As I have aged, and especially after childbirth, I have found that I much prefer the slower, let my imagination run form of fingering, palming and "rubbing one out."    But vibs give me the big one and the multiple ones reliably, and I like them for times when I am time crunched or,  most often used when I am engaged in lesbian phone sex with someone I have most likely just met in a chatroom. (said the phone sex slut LOL)    My oldest friend, the bug vibrator ..shaped like a little bug and sold as a back massager at Walmart about 8 years ago.  Yes Walmart for your sex toys !   The bug is quiet and I use it by laying down on it, on my stomach with a pillow underneath my belly which makes my boobs more comfortable into the mattress, and  use another pillow to lay my head on to, often biting it and moaning into it if I think I need to be quiet.   I have a tiny 4 inch purple "pocket rocket" type of vibe ...goes straight on the clit, put it there, clinch my thighs, high pitched buzz buzz, guaranteed orgasm and QUICK!  My imagination lacks during the use of this little monster ...and when I am using it, my thoughts are more likely to be the times, if ever, I think of multiple partners, strap ons, fisting, and the like ...the kinkiest stuff I have done or imagined ..but these thoughts come in flashes and without details and the mind is frankly focused on the buzz on my clit and the impending explosions.   I also have a plain old, just like the first one I ever bought at Spencers in my teens, white plastic, 2 C batteries, 6 inch variable speed doo-hickey, which is the only thing I want to enter me.   I have used it in conjunction with the other two, laying on the bug, reaching behind myself to us it to enter from behind, fucking in and out and the overwhelming sensation was a bit of an over stimulation and too much to keep track of, and I have used it with the purple one as well, with an inablity to concentrate on both as I neared orgasm, giving up on the dual vibe idea and just letting the pocket rocket "do me." 

Yes, I admit in masturbation, that vibs have their place, but I prefer to slowly build by reading or writing  erotica or watching a lesbian vid, and slowly getting to where it feels more intimate and sensual ...and how strong the mind must be to overcome the fact that I am alone, and that when I think of her, whomever "her" might be at the moment, that I must  totally immerse myself into that fantasy because the touch is mine, her tongue is far away, and the afterglow has elements of regret, self pity, loneliness and despair.

When I come, if I am nude, I want the blankets back over me quickly and snuggley.  If I have a nightgown on , or panties and a tshirt, my nipples, hard as a bullet when I come, cry for attention and massage.  The warmth of release through my entire body, especially down my legs, and the tingle turned to tickle at my clit retreating under its own cover.   For a moment, sleep seems irresistable, but give it a few minutes and I always feel refreshed and energized emerging from the glow.  If I look in the mirror, my chest will be have the characteristic red splotches for 10 or 15 minutes and the urge to pee will be along shortly.  The URGE to come ...oh gawd that URGE has been quelled until the next time I can be alone, and take care of it uninterrupted.  I almost start counting down the minutes til the next time.

My First Lesbian Sexual Experience

This was hard to write ..it took a long time and the more I wrote, I remember telling a friend I just didnt seem to be able to get to the "good part."  It was a very emotional story for me to get out. 

Sharing it with the newer readers of my blog :)

The Moment Of Lesbian Inevitability Finally Realized.
My First Time Story
By Brenda
All Rights Reserved

On a snowy January day when school was out...SHE CALLED. It is important to know that Donna had NEVER called me. I was sleeping in..the phone rang..I debated should I pick it up or keep sleeping.

"Hi Brenda, this is Donna"... The shiver down my body. Did I wake you up?

Just a little

So I don't know if you can do it or not...but I have a favor to ask...I sprained the hell out of my ankle and I can hardly get around the apartment, much less up and down the stairs. I'm on crutches and its icy..and I'm worried about how much MORE damage I can do to myself if I fall face down three flights of stairs...
so..could you ..sometime today...could you come walk the dog? I mean..I'd pay you.

For goodness sakes we;re friends...you dont have to pay me!

Well..I know...ok..but ...I tell you what..I rented a couple of movies and if you dont have plans we could have a snow day together you know, just ...hanging out...watching a video...if you want...I'd love it.

Why this was significant...she's not saying that me and Cheryl or Julie, or Becky or JoJo ...she was inviting me...just me...and I knew right then that it was almost certainly a "thing" and not just a friendly visit...I knew right then this was a date...I knew right then I wanted her and I to really kiss...perhaps more..and I knew that moment that it was probably going to happen TODAY.


AND I was exhilarated.
AND I was scared. I knew what I wanted...but I also knew I didnt have a true idea WHAT was going to happen. Fear and anticipation ...such a mixture of emotions.



Hey...when you get here..don't knock..its open ok ?


We agreed it would take me 45 mins to an hour to get ready. I could have been there in 20 minutes really...but I was showering and dressing for a date.







So..it was come over and walk the dog....that was the pretense..but instinticively I knew that after all the buildup..., something was maybe going to happen. I didn't think neccesarily that that meant sex..but I was pretty sure that ..at least... some answers were about to come my way about what was ...well I hope what was going to be "us." I also knew that there was a chance that nothing at all about the night we held hands and snuggled might be said...or that she might want to talk to me to put the brakes on the crush on her I had revealed. I would come armed with my letter if it might come in handy. As it was though...I showered, perfumed and dressed as I would for a date. I would look my best..my sexiest... for the first time in my life I was shaving my legs, trimming my bush, putting on makeup and adjusting a bra and blouse to show my boobs for a girl. I chose my best "screw me" bra, the soft red front hook underwire with lacy embroidery,...the bra that Thomas, the 32 year old married man I had shamefully given myself to on two afternoons had called "the most seductive thing he had ever seen," and added over that an oversize red design squareneck that let my pushed up cleavage pour out of, along with my favoritedenim skirt. I didn't go all "Saturday Night" with the eyemakup and touch of lipgloss...but it sure wasn't a snowy monday morning look as well. At least I kept the low heel shoes fairly casual because of the ice ...I needed something easy to walk in. I was doing all of this for her. I looked in the mirror before walking over and gave myself a talk...."this is it Brenda." I thought of a million things I might say ..but as I left my apartment and began the short few hundred yards walk to her place, as I got closer, my mind was overloaded ..I was just in a fog and my blood was rushing and my heart was palpitating.





That the very fact that she called meant that she was at least considering something that this was a call to see if I was really interested .. but... there was no way to prove our feelings were mutual without going out on quite a limb...making a bona fide pass or saying something obvious. On that walk I sooooo wished she would be the one...but I told myself that I was not leaving without letting her know how I feel. But it was the way she said that morning about 8:30 on the phone call ,"lets just hang out and see what happens, " that i began to dare to dream that for the first time we would be alone ..and perhaps i would get the answer to a longstanding question I had with her...which was..wonder what it would be like if we could just be alone together. We had never truly been THIS alone before. And HOW LONG had I wanted THIS.



Even though she said to come in, I knocked, and entered at the "come IN," command. The dog greeted me, and there was Donna with her ankle wrapped and elevated on the couch ...crutches beside her and still in comfortable sweatpants and braless grey tshirt ...her hair in a ponytail and a cup of coffee at her side ...I was overdressed. Completely. And by the looks of her ankle and crutches...I felt like that hot and heavy makeout session I had mapped out was at this point going to be off the table. I had really let my hopes get too high, and needed a dose of reality. She wasnt on crutches, fending off pain when we held hands that night in the kitchen. SO...I let my wants be doused for a moment...but it was just a moment. She saw to that.


I took her dog on a pretty long walk. The cold wind was blowing on my face that morning and I was probably about as confused about a relationship as I have ever believed I could be. But as I walked her dog, a sweet knee high collie who wasnt taking any direction for me in where our path would lead, I replayed what had happened before I attached the chain and listened to her instructions about the hows and ways to take her pup around the apartment complex. My hand was on the doorknob and I was rezipping my coat when she emphasized to me "THANK YOU for doing this Brenda....you've always been such a good friend to me and....(fairly long pause) I have ALWAYS been more attracted to you then any guy or girl I have ever known. I think we have something special between us, don't you ?"

And I thought..."did she just say attracted??? did she mean that the way I thought she meant it?" And when I looked at her I knew she did. HOW does one act at this defining moment. Well...I am the most awkward person in the world. "You are soooo the coolest" I said...and she said " You are Brenda, and I have never seen you look as beautiful as you do right now....so hurry back!" I just did not know what to say ...I leaned in and we hugged a tight hug that ended with me totally holding her up to make sure she didn't lose balance on her bad ankle. "I'll hurry."





I had no idea about what was going to happen..But I sure did know that I had put myself in this very sexual situation ...with an attractive, fun to be with woman .. Think about Christmas ...no...Christmas Eve ..when you are 5 and you believe in Santa ..and you just know you've been good enough to get that bike ...and many other wonderful things he is sure to have left ...the ANTICIPATION ...My Gawd...the anticipation as I walked in the brisk air had me in a good shiver that had nothing to do with the 25 degree temperature.







It took me a long time to write about the sex of what happened that first time with a woman because ...it was about AL L L LL LLL LL LLLLLLLL LLLL these other things. I couldn't write about it from the "I wonder if I am bisexual" angle that I have seen in many first time stories...because I had been damn sure of my bisexuality since I understood what women did to each other. I couldn't write this "oh innocent me getting seduced by the older woman" story, because I had been trying to get myself into a sexual situation to let SOMETHING happen for a long time by the time it actually did. In fact...it is rather comical looking back, at all the drama in my mind for that length of time I knew her. The wants and the fantasies and the flirts and the overtures I felt were strong enough to be recognized if she wanted me too, but weak enough to back out of if she was offended by me sending sexual signals her way. I am so much older now ...when I look back, I think I am amazed by how many thoughts could go through my teenage mind at once, or in a day, or in a nightime wet fantasy.




Of that first sexual encounter with her I will say that I had probably made love to her, oh maybe a conservatively estimated one million times in my minds fantasy ...so as it unfolded...the surprise was that there were so many surprises. And, as someone who had experienced a great deal of sex with guys before that day, you can say all you want that there can't be comparisons ...but ...I let myself go there enough to realize that the biggest difference in making love with a woman was that there were soooooo many surprises. I have read other women always talk about how soft the kiss, the skin, the feeling of long silky hair or the texture of nails dragged across sensitive skin as all being so alarmingly DIFFERENT in a first time experience ..and yes, those were all present. But also ... how god forsaken wonderful it was to have her soft tongue deep inside my mouth and how incredibly stimulating it was to enter her mouth with my tongue the same and have her suck on it so softly. How differently she held me than I had ever been held and how RIGHT that felt in those moments with her arms around my neck and her gentle falling into me as opposed to the "getting on top of me" I had known before. How good her lips felt upon my neck ...her teeth gently scraping to my sensations delight. So many surprisingly "better than you ever dreamed" moments.



As I first felt her nipple stiffen to welcome my fingertips touch ...a moment I certainly had dreamed of nearly nightly since I was 12, the accompanying seething sensual intake of her breath, high pitched "ah" and the shudder of her body all in that split second of her pleasure resonated in my heart, raised goosebumps upon my body, and solifidied the deepest root of my sexuality, that I sooooo get off on getting my lover off, and thus, her nipple stiffening to my touch in combination with everything else wonderfully overloaded my every sense and froze me. But yet again...the surprise as that same nipple stiffened and puckered now to its maximum attention as it slipped across my lips and against my waiting tongue. The "even more?" exhiliration sent another lustful jolt through me ... ..and I remember the surprise of the "no duh" moment of my belaboring the question of how I would position myself to lick her thigh .....and oh how delectable that was ...even though it was by that moment torturous to be so close to where I wanted my lips, mouth and tongue to begin the devouring I had waited so very long for....but how time and time again in this encounter, time itself sometimes became the largest dilema of all ..time in HOW MUCH TIME to spend in these deep french kisses when I could feel her hips rocking and I knew how badly her pussy wanted attention. ...prolonging the moment when I would pay respects to where she would know my strongest desire while an imaginary time clock measured every act of giving pleasure. I gently sucked upon the right side of her neck and rolled my tongue into her shoulder blade while my fingertips gently raked down her back. And when my hands lifted her breast and then another ...feeling that soft weight, the supple give of the skin and tissue and the knowing that we both were trembling together in a moment ...not just a moment...a momentous day of mutual desire...and the loudest quiet ever known. TIME was ever ticking on the "how longs" of our act ...when gently sucking her nipples became an engulfing inhaling and squeezing which caused her hips to writhe beneath me...HOW MUCH TIME before I have to leave this wonderful feeling we both are sharing because there is more and more important work (work???? PLEASURE !) to be done elsewhere ?" Those questions of time have never been more prevelant in between the sheets as they were that day with her.

And in speaking of the most wonderful of surprises, perhaps the two most enormous shudders of pure pleasure I will ever know happened in her bed that afternoon. Two moments I would not ever trade for anything ...defining moments that I had no idea in the fantasies leading up to what we did, versus the reality of doing it, would affect me, not only in the exact moments of occurence, but also 12 years later as I write this when I can surely remember these moments as though they happened five minutes ago.

With me making nothing short of mad passionate love to her ample right breast, her grip upon the back of my head and pulling me into her loosened .....like, she just let go and I KNEW what she meant with no words needed to be spoken ...we were surely even reading each others mind so that when I say she let go , it was as if SHE did it AND I beckoned it at the same time ....and SO...the question of time I spoke of earlier was decided...it was TIME to feel her down there. Her fingertips dug into my shoulder and led her hand downward past my elbow and wrist until she had taken my hand, in the act of molding and remolding her breast while I sucked, and led me down ...down and down to where the softness of her pubic hair began. Placinng my hand there...a gentle squeeze for reassurance ...and I wonder if when she did, she realized that she was not only saying "I am ready" or "I need this," but realizing how much I so very much needed to touch her there too.


"Mmmmmmmm, I moaned and smiled vibrating against her nipple I was still sucking .....and my hand took the rest of the plunge towards her mound and lips. Oh that moment. I have no real idea what it is like for anyone else who has had sex ..cmon...people have had sex since there were people. But ..dicks were dicks, and they were always hard well before they were needed to be, and what I knew about vaginas was that my vagina behaved and felt as mine did, and gosh I knew by this age everything about it, up down and sideways. But HERS....yes like mine and yes different and not like mine ...something I knew from my many fantasies...but oh how I never dreamed how this would make me feel....stroking my fingers and then sinking them past her swollen lips and inside her...she was sopping, dripping, soaking wet. And oh my gawd...that feeling it gave me...of lust, of passion, and mostly I have to admit how my every nerve felt the immense satisfaction at that moment of the knowing that her twice as wet as I had ever felt myself pussy was in this extreme condition of arousal because of ME...because of US ..because of THIS MOMENT we were both in. And, yes, I was aware of how wet I was and knew without touching it was wetter than I too had ever been and what at some point she would know about from touching me....but for this moment...again, a moment I would not trade for any other in my life, feeling her with my fingertips so wet...sliding in her...feeling her walls and it was not just warm but in fact quite hot to the touch at that moment....the most awesome sexual moment of my life to that point and would be forever if it weren't for what happened soon after.

So ..how did this start ? Yeah...the phone call...the "I have ALWAYS been more attracted to you" statement before I walked the dog ..the long months of friendship and fantasy and ...as I said ...this is about allll those things. But how did we get to the bed, is a part of this story I must tell?


Well, when I got back from walking the dog, she had almost finished toasting some bagels for breakfast, had poured out two very large glasses of Sunny D, had changed the stereo from the morning blab radio which was on when I arrived, to some artsy fartsy guitar instrumental music, which I loved ..and set a certain quiet but flowing atmosphere. We made this and that small talk about bagels, calories, and the dog. I sat on the couch away from where she was set up with her blanket and pillow and we talked and ate and gazed into one anothers eyes until the gaze needed to be broken. I had the knowing that something was probably going to happen, or at least I was going to get some answers about much ...and soon we were feeding the dog scraps and laughing at his leaps for this or that morsel ...and in the first semi-uncomfortable silence she spoke softly, "girl..we gotta talk ya know?" And I thought, here it comes, just let me down easy.

"ummmmm ..I am just going to come right out and say it...and nothing we say gets repeated anywhere..just between us ok ?" (ok I nodded) " You umm...are ....are you a lesbian ...or bisexual?" she asked

"is it that obvious I am at least one of those," I laughed. After a few moments I added, "lets put it this way ...I am sure I have always known that I have wanted more ...you know..MORE ...but its not just about the sex ..and ummmm...I don't know how to say this ..but ..I never had feelings for a particular girl ...i mean...not til now...not til lately....like you know, such a strong crush where I am writing notes and tearing them up and wanting to say more than I think I can say."

"You can say anything to me Brenda."

"Well what if I am having some pretty strong feelings for you....I've been afraid to tell you in case you tell my friends, or even my mom ...but I have a stronger feeling you might feel the same way."

"girl..you know I do"

"no I don't know"

"I do"

"oh" was all I could say ...and was that to be it ? Feeling the fear inside me turn to warmth ...I looked at her "what are we talking about ?"

"I think we talking about becoming lovers...but I never did that ..and I dont really know if I know what to do," she said quizically with a nervous giggle.

In my strongest burst of confidence I said "I never did it either ...but I am pretty damn sure I know what to do ....and I'm pretty sure you might like what I have in mind ?"

I reached over and touched her leg and began stroking her calf above her uninjured ankle more as a nervous but affectionate show of togetherness ....and we sat in silence for about a minute like this..me looking down at her leg ..feeling all those nerves bundle up, bundle out, relax and then bundle back up again as every single emotion I ever felt zig zagged through my mind and we were both lost for words. In that minute, in fantasy, I made love to her and her to me in every conceivable way ...so many thoughts and feelings rushing through. And when I could speak, I uttered almost apologetically, "just so you know," I broke the silence...."this is about alot more than just sex for me...whatever happens ok?"

"Me too" she earnestly replied. .....and added "ummm ..would you c'mere and help me up if you can ok ?"



I arose to walk towards her and debated mentally a million ways we might have a first kiss which I wanted so desperately at that moment. This would be the first opportuntiy..I could just lean down for this kiss I felt I couldnt wait another minute for. ...but more important was that happiness ...whatever...it was GOING to happen. And you can laugh if you will, but I felt more like a virgin that morning than I ever did before I did anything with a guy. And to me, it felt so deeply real and more natural then anything I had ever felt was coming. In a businesslike fashion I helped her up and off the couch and she motioned for her crutches and said "hey...I gotta go take a shower ...can you sit here and watch tv or ...wait a sec...let me get something...stay here." She crutched her way back towards her bedroom and my mind raced wondering what was going on. She came back with book...a rather thick book that turned out to be an erotic anthology of short sexy stories. She had her finger in it marking a story and handed to me saying," read this one by ____________," (for the life of me I wish I knew this story because I would like to own it today)..."It is so erotic ...I've read it a dozen times ...worn out a few sets of batteries," she laughed. And that was a good ice breaker. "ohhhh ..Im gonna miss you," I said knowing she was going away from me at a critical moment....but I also knew a woman wants to feel clean if she is going to do anything ya know...she didn't have to do that for me, but I would do no good to say that, and I knew it. "Now read that ..and don't start anything without me." "I wouldn't," I said, but the best feeling was again, knowing that today, there would be something started for certain we both knew by now. Neither knew how, we both knew it would....finally fear and worry and doubt and pent up and quelled desire had become INEVITABILITY.

I read the sincere, passionate, sexually explicit story which got me wet and yes, I touched myself a time or two while waiting for what seemed like forever ....I finished the story and waited, and thought and waited, and fantasized, and waited, and finally got up..went back in towards the back of her apartment where she was still in the bathroom and finishing her eye makeup with a towel around her and her damp hair tied up. I tingled from head to toe and looked in towards the bedroom, saw the unmade bed and knew I would be there with her shortly. I came up behind her and our eyes met in the reflection of the mirror. "I missed you," I said.


"What did you think of the short story?"


"Well those women ...knew what they were doing but...umm...maybe we can do better ? ya think ?"

And it was comfortable to put my arms around her and my body engulfed her damp and nude except for the towell loveliness. "I can't wait any longer to kiss you Donna," I said as I moved in close to her and our lips met for the first time ...softly ..gently...timidly for certain in the bathroom....a kiss that had more tenderness than every kiss I ever had or dreamed of wrapped into it, but virtually none of the pure lust and passioniate kisses we would soon share. Still...so nice was the moment I wanted it to never end ...slipping our tongues together and into each others warmth that first time ...from "what to do" to knowing what comes so naturally. Our kiss broke and our hug began and her caress upon my shoulders felt divine. I looked in her eyes and said "hurry up in here..I'm going to wait for you in there."

"I thought we were gonna watch a movie," she said.

"Whatever you want to do, but, " I paused, "that was the best kiss I ever had in my life! ....If you want to watch a movie...I want to pretend we are in the back row and not really watching the movie." I laughed. She laughed. "Im gonna wait for you in here." I said and had developed the plan already.

Yes....ME...instigating our first lesbian tongue tangle ...miraculous scary nervousness as I moved in BUT...at least I KNEW she would respond ...and NOW ..virtually commanding her to the bed...wait ? Wasnt I the just turned 18 high school senior ? Wasn't she the older, wiser, role model, big sister type grad student ? I had to laugh to myself about how it had come about that it was ME that seemed in control .....but soon I realized control and sexual power is always best when shared ....THAT was a rare and hardley ever occurence in my experience with men....power sharing between us was to come as natural and comfortable as our friendship had always been.

As she finished what she was doing in the bathroom.....I rather quickly and boldy stripped to my bra and panties and got into the bed...and pulled the covers up. "Are you in my bed girl ?" came the objection from the bathroom ?

"Yes I am in your bed..and I'm waiting for you!...hurry up!"


"are you comfortable?"


"Very"


"are you in your birthday suit>?"

"you'll know when you get in here with me" I boldy flirted.

After a few minutes she came into the bedroom , now in a light green and flowered robe and complained " I was going to put on something very sexy for you....ya know...since you dressed up for me."

"not dressed up anymore," I giggled from the bed while mentally undressing her and anticipating her every touch and tingle.

I WAS WANTING THIS SOOOO MUCH BUT GAWD I WAS SOOOOOOOO NERVOUS....dont know why...but even THAT felt like the natural normal thing given the circumstances.


How MANY times this day had I said to myself "this is it !" well...I was saying again ...but feeling it stronger than ever. I knew when I made the choice to go to the bedroom and get in the bed that there would be no turning back for me....and I was commiting her as well to at least something.

She strode over and sat on the bed next to me facing away and said "we gotta talk." I was ready for whatever and wherever this was going. My daring move was stripping and getting into bed, and when I did that, I knew she probably wasn't going to dive in a make love with me...she wasnt that kind of person I sensed.

"Just exactly how long has this been going on Brenda?" she asked


"What...me being bisexual...or me wanting to be bisexual with YOU?"

"well ..both ..but..." I knew she was asking in a round about way if I had wanted to do this since she was my student teacher way back when. That began a talk with both of us...which, in the course of the next 30 minutes or so, we confesesed our lifelong lesbian fantasies, told about the movie scenes we'd seeen and the books we had read with lesbian characters. It was nice because, surely our encounter was inevitable, but less urgent / rushed and...I think the calming cool down of a sincere talk about what we were feeling and about to feel was soothing and very natural for both of us.



I told her I KINDA thought about her sexually in class, but had really become different in the way I felt as I grew older and knew my feelings were different when we began hanging out together with the group of us as girlfriends. I told her I knew I was bisexual from the age of 12, and she said it was more recent for her ...but didn't start realizing I had affections for her until after she had had a crush on a girl in college that had turned her affections aside, and then she said she noticed some of the same puppy dog eyes upon her from me that she was giving to the woman she wanted to be with. We admitted very BIG things to each other, for instance, we confided to each other that we had masturbated while thinking of the other.



"How would you feel if I told you that when I'm friggin my riggin I never think about guys...and um...like for six months...I have only been imagining you ALOT...maybe not every time but ..alot more than anyone ?"

"I can't believe it..me too.....see...we've already done it with each other we just didn't know it!" and we laughed

We talked about the awkwardness of buying a vibrator at Spencers and the "do you need batteries with that?" moment at the counter.

We trashed men's sexual proficiency.

...and if the thought came through my mind "are you a lesbian ?" The answer was easily "who cares."

We admitted we knew there was a turning point and how it was just a matter of time and how to from that point on.

And, truly capable of a thousand thoughts between each sentence of conversation, my mind raced..."kiss me kiss me kiss me, should I kiss her, how should I kiss her, kiss me, make love to me, kiss me, kiss me now etc...WHEN ARE WE GOING TO DO IT" my mind was commanding.

As we talked she had shifted to face me and I had shifted onto my side ...she touched my shoulder once and let a finger slide under the strap ...She knew she had the liberty to do much more whenever she felt it right. She admitted she asked me over with ulterior motive on this day, and I laughed and said "I believe with me in your bed and waiting for you to kiss me, that has become abundantely clear." For a moment the silence, and then, "I am so glad you are here," .... her hand lifting my bangs and then caressing my cheek. "You are so beautiful and I have waited for this for so long." My chest turns rather pink when I am horny, and I am sure my face and everything else blushed a crimson red that moment..but it felt soooo good to be told that. She let the robe slip down...her back now nude and she turned towards me and I glimpsed her lovely breasts. She stood up long enough for the robe to fall to the floor and got in to face me. Her hand upon my cheek, my hands wandering towards her shoulders ..we embraced at the moment our lips met ..and this kiss was instantly different, more sexual, and was going to last much much longer than our first brief makeout session in the bathroom nearly an hour ago.


Oh...and about that kiss...you know how I always talk about the million thoughts through my mind ??? My mind went completely void of any thought of anything but mouth, tongue, warm, wonderful and bliss.

Side to side we made out...I worried aloud about her ankle and she assured me it was ok.

The stark realiziation of the moment. This was sex with a woman. This was finally happening. I guided her hands from my hips and back towards my breasts and she undid the front clasps to free me. I cant tell you how many times we exchanged different ways of telling each other..whispering softly mostly ...how beautiful we felt each other was. More fervent our kisses and caresses. More gradually we felt each other in exchange of the power between us, where we fell easily into where I felt I needed this to go with me making love to her body, she more or less submitted to my need to give her pleasure, and our sexual path was slowly carved out by each different touch, caress, and soft tickle between us. Her body felt SO good and when our breasts were together, my feelings were so much deeper and stronger than the sexual urges continuing to grow.

And so, as I mentioned earlier, the large and small surprises continued as down her body I traversed with my lips, tongue, hands, fingers, and passion. Feeling her that wet and feeling her respond to my finger was immensely erotic. But, knowing I wanted to go down on her made me purposely hold back a bit for I knew, and she later comfirmed, she was about to explode with orgasm from the first touch of my fingers dancing upon her clit and inside her saturated vagina.



And that was the second moment for which I would never trade anything that could be given. That moment before I kissed her there...the knowing she wanted me there, the first time of it and the ultimate expectations of unfamiliar yet so desired act of total love I had for her at that moment. So good was the first warm, wet touch of my tongue to her, my thumb and forefinger instinctively spreading her lips and flicking her clit softly ..then more forecefully. In my first time naivety I said something producing our most awkward moment...but It seemed the right thing to say at the time. As I began to lick, suck and then to finger as well, her responses in her squeezing, her breathing, her moans and other noises excited me and gave me confidence, HOWEVER, I still realized I HAD NEVER DONE THIS and so I stopped licking when she stopped responding for what may have been TWO SECONDS and said "Don't worry babe...I am not going to stop until you come." This of course, coming from the knowledge of when I had been brought to almost the brink by quite a few clumsy dates. Well, when I said that, she almost screamed, "Oh gawd no, you are doing FINE," and in the desperation of her voice knew that she was about to come. I found a way to lick her quickly that she obviously liked, and up and down over her clit with just the right pressure, held her buttocks and rode with her while her convulsions began combined with her shrieks and exclamations of joy for both of us to relish in.

And I stayed with her down there as she came again and again and again and again. I never wanted to stop and when she would come she would say "please" which was a soft plea to stop, or "i need you up here now" but that also would not get me to stop. I just slowed down long enough for her to catch her breath and then found yet another way to rise her up again towards a pulsating for both of us release.

I knew that first time that I could feel a womans orgasm through my mouth as my very own. Nothing will ever compare.



"Know what ?" she whispered to me as I lay on my back with her nestled in my right arm snuggled against me, head upon my shoulder with her soft hair and the dreamy slow motion softness of our bodies together as our breathing returned to normal and our brains allowed us to think again.

"What."

"I .....can't......wait...." she began while her fingertip traced up my sides and underneath my breast......"to lick you......." her finger encircled my breast and nipple and then began to descend towards where I throbbed, ached, and patiently needed her attention, ...and as she brushed across my mound, plunging into my wetness and as my legs spread to further invite her, "....to lick you....." her fingers inside me now and her body shifting upward to look me in the eyes, where she no doubt saw the immense flood of pleasure she was giving me down there and quickly, flashed in the hunger of my eyes, " to lick you...right ...there...>" my clit now attended to unlike anything I'd ever felt with her thumb and index finger as her lips went down to my right nipple....the wonderful strain of both my covered by her warm lips nipple and the unattended one as well powerfully announcing to me as an inner, maddening, leap to attention FOR attention, and to her, in between her lips ...the erotic bodywide quiver eminating from my nipples, my breasts, with nerve ending directly connected to the walls of my vagina and my clit being manipulated by her fingers that KNEW me from the first moment of touch. Her tongue and lips and mouth KNEW me against my nipple. I shuddered, and quivered, and arched, and trembled in letting myself...allowing myself this pleasure. She was fingering me into my panties ..the only article of clothing left between the both of us in the creamy soft sheets of her bed....she raised up and as she disengaged her fingers from me down there, my pussy wanted to follow her hand as if to say "where ya goin ?" but she lifted me up and I responded and we helped the panties down my thighs and over my legs and she dropped them on the floor.

My eyes half squinting in the curtained morning daylight of her room. I opened them for a clue as to what might be coming next and ...with both hands she began to massage and knead and my boobs. Her gaze upon them..then a glance towards my eyes responding with how good she was making me fell all over with her touch...admiring me there...yes...such pride in my boobs, but I know I shouldnt have that vanity. Her breasts and nipples had turned me on soooo much a few minutes before, and I was enjoying belieiving she enjoyed the touch of mine as much. However, unlike with any sexual partner before (that would be 100% boys and men in case thats been forgotten), my breasts were knowingly out there in a different way than ever before. Her eyes were looking directly into my mind, and I felt that look of admiration, or adoration, or whatever positive...I don't like those bradadocious adjectives, but it was clear to me that my toplessness and these touches between us ..with her fingers and eyes upon me while my own fingertips lightly brushed the soft underside of her forearm, was a wonderful sharing of the emotion and tenderness of all that was blossoming between us that morning.

I am a moaner ok ? She massages me and I moan, she shifts to provide two hands on that breast instead of the one on each and I moan louder...I dont want to sound silly..but the sounds are just coming out of me.
Half the excitment comes from the things she is doing to me and half comes from the anticipation..and ..it must be the neverending scientist in me, but the inevitable comparisons ...not only to the guys I have had sex with, thats the obvious, but also, the comparison to the ways I have just made love to her, and the comparisons to what I have fantasized about and what is playing in reality.
There are moments ...my gawd how good it feels whenever she does something that brings her breasts into ANY contact whatsoever with my skin. Her nipples stiff against my sensitive sides or my belly ...breast to breast is every bit as amazing as I always read about and dreamed of. The entirety of her soft skin against me is of course such a wonderful, delightful, brand new sensation as expected...but when that skin contact is her breasts...I feel as though I should purr or something for how good it feels to know her this way. I moan softly when it feels good ..I gasp or moan more emphatically when her lips engulf my nipples or her fingers find a new way to delight, or return to something that minutes before brought out my demonstrative ways. I am truly delirious ...a sensation that is not unlike being drunk....being so willingly led in her giving to me. I am able to punch through the submission to grope a breast or reach for her mound in whatever moment of position that that allows, but she is no doubt holding the baton of power for these moments and I have given over to her completely.

I also need to express this sensation that was never so intense with a man as it was with her and in my lesbian encounters ever since. It is that I KNOW deep inside as she makes me quiver and tingle and convulse and come..I KNOW how much I am into this..and into her....it is sooooo deep and sooo much. But ...I am ever so analytic and aware of every sign she gives me or might about how she is feeling about me. It builds and builds and is crystal clear as we continue that she is TOTALLY into giving me pleasure with her fingers, mouth, lips and tongue ...she is soooooo in this bubble with me and alert and aware of the oneness of us in this moment....yes it does feel like falling in love ....and together we are placing brick upon brick in the foundation of our growing and deepening togetherness. Until I felt it with her, I had no idea how one of the most powerful things ...100 times more powerful than the orgasmic release of sexual sensations that change, multiply and surprise second to second in our kisses, licks and touches, it is what her EYES tell me, her responses tell me, her obvious mutual desire that fuels my emotions and deepens my sensations as we go along. Its like, when her teeth dug into my nipple and my nails dug into her back, muscles contracting, audible moan and a answer to her unasked question, "YES IT FEELS GOOD WHEN YOU SUCK ME LIKE THAT," and so she rolls her tongue, nibbles me, holds me tighter against her and makes sure every possible millimeter of our skin meshes together in this moment...it is her response when weighed against mine that trumps the sexual delights. Her being totally into this with me is the truest pleasure of them all.

I can remember as it was a moment ago when she rolled down to eat me the first time. She had a beautiful silver and turquoise necklace that accompanied her tongue in softly tracing down and down towards where I craved her. I am literally almost coming from just the anticipation. I lose myself and I remember repeating "its so good its so good its so good" before her tongue ever touched me there.

She has a certain touch on my thigh ....combination of massage and erotic tenderness. It sends me. She spreads my lips and when her tongue enters me...she fucks me in and out ...I try to stay still but my hips are shaking instantly and involuntarily. Just as I had done to her before, her finger replaces her tongue and then she adds another almost simultanously as she begins to softly lick my stiff clit. She sucks on it, twirls her tongue and tightens a grib around my buttocks, pulling me foward where I was already pushiing, hands against the back of her hair and then lowering to massage a shoulder. I come so fast after she starts....I remember thinking right before my first orgasm exploded that I wondered if it really WAS her first time doing this. It was so so so technically superior ...and the powerful combination of shudders, quivers, trembles, tingles, thrusts, moans and most deeply, EMOTIONS, spilled out of my pussy, out of my vocal chords, and out of my soul each time she got me there with her warm wet mouth and tongue, sucking me, licking me, spreading me and massaging me, finger touching me, finger fucking me, controlling me, loving me.



At some point in the 30 or so minutes that felt like hours ...I become orgasmed out and in synch with me she is exhausted. I want to rest, pee, and get my mouth on her pussy again. In fact, as she was delivering such pleasure to me, an equal thought to "gawd how good this is," was, "I cant wait til this is over so I can get her off some more." I was instantly and forever addicted to the way it felt to go down on a woman....and I wanted more ...I wanted everything that day ..and I wanted everything forever....for love at any age, and especially at 18 is confusing. I was certainly in love that afternoon...in fact...that month that we were "together."

We both peed, made small talk and observed on the clock that we still had time before I would have to go home ....by my way of thinking that was to be an afternoon of sex sex and some more sex. If she had other ideas...and she did, when she came back into the bedroom and starting looking through her drawers for clothes for the day, I about tackled her. NO....don't take that pussy away from me now. It was clear that I felt I had years of the wanting this so badly to be let out. She talked about my "stamina" as I licked her and sucked her ...feeling I could not get enough of her flower and the responses to the pleasure I created for her. I opened her with a third finger .."okay ?" "oh yes," she replied.

We laid together ..she on her back, me against her side and breast..."do you want me to do something ?" I knew she was asking if I was requesting reciprocation ... "no I just want to lay like this forever if that might be possible."


She said things to me in bed that afternoon I can't ever forget..in ways that made me feel like I will never feel again. Stroking my shoulder and describing how my eyes sparkled to her, and telling me she "adored," me ...like...every time she "adored" something about me...."I adore your nipples," or, "I adore the way you touch my thighs," I would tingle. Adore just wasnt a word I ever used or heard much, and every time she said it, and said it about ME, my ADORATION for her grew.

ANd oh...her vibrator was in view the whole day ...I kept waiting, wondering IF or WHEN it would come into play ...and though the answer was, "not today,"
its presence in the room was like a third, if that can be understood....like it was crying out to be used...but Donna and I controlled that, and neither one of us cared for anything but each other that day.



We cared not for food ..."we have to do something about lunch," and I was oh so the master of the obvious, "I only want to eat you," and down again I went ..."dont start this again...ok ...dont...you cant...." but my fingers spreading her lips and my tongue once again upon her soaked lips and mound, and once again her legs would spread and her sigh of resignation would be my invitation to continue with what I felt I was quickly becoming if not the expert at what I was doing with my lips, my mouth, fingers, palms and tongue, I was at least proving I was a proficient learner, and she told me as much many times. Over the next days and weeks, my mind would wander to the things I wanted with her...everything imaginable sexually ...but this morning that was becoming a later and later afternoon, my mind seemingly looped the desire to lick and suck and finger her endlessly.

As I became adept at eating her, I also became adept at realizing when she was ready for a small break because, with my hips towards her shoulders, never having the real guts to sit upon her and make this a true sixty nine position, something we didnt do til our last time together, but as her libido slowed down, her talent with her fingers upon me and inside me drove me closer and closer to coming. I couldnt get there...or she couldn't get me there...and if I got close and then would't go over ...I would lick her all the more furiously. However...it was getting late...and I wanted to come so bad just one more time. I was aching to let go, and although I wanted her to make love to me with the passion she did before, it was out of the question in the state of sexual exhaustion we were in. I rolled my body up upon hers and kissed her deeply ...madly and passionately ...she tasting herself upon my lips and responding with a look in her eyes undescribable , but said without words that it was more than acceptable and fully desirable in the moment of "us."

Upon her thigh I began to hump her and it was so good ...my pussy and the way it felt ..but what drove me to the earth shattering orgasm rubbing against her that way, was not just the feelings against my clit...but the way she pushed her thigh into me....the the absolute surprised desperation I saw in her eyes, and as my moans and noises intensified, so did her vocal responses, and so did her tight grip around me ...holding me tight, kissing me, squeezing me, groping my breast or pulling me into her by my buttocks as I screwed my pussy against her thigh, the deepest tongue kisses and the nails digging into my back, while my fingerse dug into the mattress... and when I came this way, the exclamation point upon our first experience gave us the finale we could both live with, for if we hadnt found something like that, I wonder how long and what more we would have done to continue this experience neither of us wanted to let go of.

An out of body experience in her apartment and in her bed.....to the deep kiss at the door and tears welling up. A million "i don't know what to say" moments and expressions of gratitude, pleasant surprise, better than I thoughts, and "I have been waiting so long for this to happen for us."

I walked home and in cliche fashion I must tell you the best way to describe it is that my feet did not touch the ground. Numb...affected...and yes, in love strongly, I went home and holed up in my room, no conversation with any friends, saying as little as I could get away with when mom came home cause I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts, feelings, and rememberances of the day, and fantasies of the days to come with Donna.

Lesbian Lust and Fantasy's First Kiss

 I started this blog in 2007, but it was actually the second blog of lesbian erotica I created.  The first was erased when I thought I might be discovered.  Lost alot of my early writing, but maybe that was meant to be.  I was looking at some old emails and came across this letter I wrote and wondered if I had posted it on this site, and it turns out I did, near the start of "A Lesbian Kiss 2 Desire."   So this is a "best of" and shows my earlier writing.  I didn't use words like "pussy" and the like then ...a practice an author I greatly respect now strongly encouraged me to abandon.  So ...if you have run across this in the older archives, my apologies ...Just wanted to share this for anyone who hasn't.  

At the time I wrote this I had only been with 3 women.  This was written for a woman that I never hooked up with, but at the time, it was a certainty we would.  I think that comes across.  I hope my writing has gotten a bit better, but if you have a comment, please send me an email at akiss2desire@gmail.com . 


daydreaming about this time when we meet.

I have no idea where it is..but its a sunny day...I know that we are probably going to meet the first time in a restauraunt ...but for some reason in the daydream I am always thinking its like a parking lot or something.

The sky couldn't be more blue and its the middle of the day.

You are even more beautiful in person than in your pictures..and now I can see the beauty in your eyes that a picture can never pick up ..and the curve of the fabric around your breasts lets me know their weight, their sway and a hint of what your nipples look like, a subject i must confess that I have obsessed on a bit from time to time since the crush between us became so strong. You probably have no idea how badly I want you lately ..but my desire is as strong as ever as I crave your affection.

So there we are in this parking lot. You are there first and as I drive up I recognize the description of your car.  I notice that you have noticed me driving up and when I pull up next to you, you look through the windows and smile at me..wave ...I do the same...put the car into park..check my purse and a quick check of my hair and makeup for the 100th time in the last hour...probably give myself a quick pep talk "this is it" and nervous, excited start to get out of my car and realize you too are getting out of your car. We are exchanging our first smiles and a hug ...a hug in my fantasy that is so tight because I am sooooo glad this moment has finally arrived. I am tempted to kiss you right there but realize we are in public and .....who knows..you may be seeing me for the first time and realizing you aren't really attracted to me...too fat or something.

Even though we both know WHY we are here together at this moment..I cant' help but be so so so nervous and it shows in our small talk...you look great...you say I do..I love that you wore something for me that shows so much cleavage and I have already noticed that you noticed mine when I walked toward you the first time....we knew this is how some of this would be...but now its the reality and we talk about each other instead of ourselves...the mutual admiration society commences its meeting and you have turned me into a giddy schoolgirl who is trying to impress her first crush.

In this fantasy I realize that I will probably be so nervous and wanting to know if you really like me..probably looking for signs that we could have something deeper and stronger than the orgasmic sex that seems a given that will happen between us if not today, then sometime...and that at some point with whatever is said, I feel comfortable enough to take a deep breath and relax ..then I know I can look at you...just LOOK at you in a sexual way and start to think of what it really will be like.

But in my fantasy ..today can't be that day ...because we are pressed for time...only an hour maybe an hour and a half. You have told me that you can find a place for us to go ...but I have no idea where.... so I say..."are you ready to get out of ths parking lot," and we have to decide which car to take....it seems logical to take whichever has the most room ( i have a small size SUV) ...but whichever car we take...I am wanting YOU to drive (in the fantasy...reality can be different if we want it to be)

So you in the drivers seat ..me in the passengers seat...before you start the car a moment when I say "hey...we are alone...finally." and I reach out my hand to squeeze your thigh..."is it ok ?" "yes" .. "no hard feelings if you back out ok?" "Im not backing out.....are you?" "I've never wanted you more" "I've wanted to be alone with you for so long."


The car starts and we start to pull away...where are you taking me....how far? how private will it be? As you drive I am so excited and just looking at your face and your curves and beggining to tingle. I check the mirror again...ask myself if I overdid the makeup ..the eyeshadow ...did i make a mistake going with that shade of blue for our "first date." Wondering if this was a dress to impress date or in this middle of the day setting where unfortunately you have to return to work (but I dont,) if I left you at perceived disadvantage by wanting you to see my dress up side while you were forced to be conservative enough to go back to work. Still small talk til you get where you are going. I sincerely have no idea in reality where you will take us ..dying to know :) but have imagined a very secluded spot where we will not be discovered. I touch your thigh as you drive...you hold my hand ...we continue the sighs, deep breaths of nervousness and smiles...you say what I'm thinking and I say what you are thinking as we go down the road to the place.

The vehicle turns off and we are alone ..very alone..I didn't know this secluded place existed...and so...and so....and SO ... this ....is indeed IT. THE MOMENT for us. My seat belt comes unbuckled and I know we are about to kiss ..but how? we both sooooooooo know its coming. and want it. I can feel you want all that this will allow us...It's like I can feel your skin pulsating under my lips, and yet I havent touched you like that yet. and again..with you going back to work ...it cant allow us much....we must restrain some...and I wonder how greedy we will be with our wants.

You want to get out or stay in the car ? We decide to stay in (in my fantasy) ..and I come closer to you and lay my head upon your shoulder. My right arm goes around you to your shoulder and then your neck...my forearm is against your breast and we are both aware that we have noticed that fact. Can I just lay here like this for a few minutes..you say its ok and I caress you...you caress me back...tell me its nice..its not rushed. My gawd what a rush it is to look into your beautiful eyes and feel your desire.

You tell me we have to leave at a certain time...and we will keep an eye on the clock..but that time girl..that time will go so fast....racing faster than the beats of my heart at the moment.

Things have a certain order it seems...though I know in the future at a moment like this I would be very comfortable caressing your breasts right now...I know our lips must ... MUST come together. You are so beautiful as I scoot high enough in the seat to get at your level..a bit above it...not yet...I caress your thigh....and come very close to your crotch without going there yet...you compliment my touch without a word...just the look in your eyes....ready for this ? spoken or unspoken ..thats where we are...I KNOW you are about to know the softness in a kiss like you have never felt and that fact turns me on even more...

lips ............. tongue ............... soft moan ............. melt ............ deeper ..... open your eyes and look into mine ...we have arrived here together in this moment

kiss me back and i will kiss you deeper still.
and I can wait no longer to feel the weight of your breast in my right hand as it lowers from behind your neck.
shifting to be closer and against each other our bodies make the best of what we can in the vehicle.

but

oh babe...so much the desire..we are both flowing into our panties ...and ...we cant finish what we are starting...today we are just making out...but ...we need and want more.....

Did you wear something that I can easily touch you down there in ? I will know your wetness. I want your hands upon my breasts and take your hand and put it there. I can feel the electricity shoot through you as well as me. oh melt into this with me darling...let this not be our last time but the first of so many.

I am afraid of pulling our shirts off or our panties down in a place that could be discovered....but I want to touch you ....I push a finger into your wetness...."do we need to stop" "please dont stop"
so good
I know
so let me like this
I lean up against the car door on my side of the vehicle...ask you to turn around and lean with your back up against my body..you are unsure...but like this I can smell your hair, kiss your sweet soft lips, enter your blouse with my left hand and feel your nipples harden and respond to my desire, and finger your wetness with my right hand ...and easily all at the same time.....it is not too tempting not to take you over the edge and feel your come....I whisper in your ear...I really wanted the first time to be with my mouth babe....promise me I can bury my face in your thighs soon..."yes" you reply... want me to take you all the way...."please" ...so I will ....you squirm, moan for me, call my name softly, and I bring you the explosion ..."I need to taste you" you tell me..and I assure you that you will ..but not today...unexpectedly you softly grab my wrist and bring my fingers covered in the wetness of your vagina and suck on my fingers...beautiful first with your eyes closed and open them to see me in admiration and pure lust.

Our time is up..and we have to get you back to looking somewhat unsexed :) before you return.

more kisssing..more making out...more promises and promises to keep our promises

Sherry and Me on A Lesbian Blind Date from Craigslist NSA

by akiss2desire
feedback to akiss2desire@gmail.com

copyright 2009 all rights reserved.
When I sat down in the booth with her at the meeting place she had designate,  I took off my jacket,  and unexpectadly, but not to my dismay,  half my right tit fell out.  As I covered,  I glanced around and there were quite a few gawkers ..not all male.  I liked that ..and I liked that Sherry had that "trying not to look but I can't help it" look in her eyes right at me and right at my breast. I wondered to myself in the split second that all this was occuring, "where did all this self confidence come from?"  How far I had come in a few short years.  I once was shy "bi" woman seeking lesbian emotional experiences, and had emerged as a lesbian (albeit still married)  seeking no strings attached relationships on craigs list.  I used to seek  comfort in finding  older and perhaps more desperate subjects for hooking up with.  Here now in the booth and the low lights of the restaurant was the realization that when you post an ad that honestly stated that I am a "married, 32 bi mom in search of someone sweet, honest, perhaps in the curious stage and between the ages of 18-25" that the shoot the moon mentality I posted that with had now become the dream come true sitting in the booth across from me in freckle faced, doe eyed, whispy red headed 23 year old Sherry.  SO beautiful to me in her purple embroidered tunic that was equisite, and although it didnt plunge to show the cleavage I would have hoped for, she had made a good choice for our blind date in pkcing something that clung to her breasts, outlining them so much as to leave little to be imagined about the size and perfectly round shape.  WHile I show my tits with a plunging v-neck, she shows hers in the cutest top that was exquisitely sexy on her.  How I had come to crave lesbian sex from younger women is just how my path down the yellow brick road of my lesbian adventure had taken me.  I had become a woman who wanted what she wanted.  And Sherry not only exemplified what I wanted, but the way she treated me proved the feelings of attraction were mutual. 

"Did you notice everyone in the bar watching you ?" she laughed.  She too was one of the gawkers.

"You know..there are watchers and there are doers...which one are you..which ones are we both?"  I asked her.  And that seemed to set the stage for the banter and mutual admiration as we ordered our drinks and rattled off whatever came top of mind ...she was one of those people who are just so easy to talk to about everything, and we clicked immediately.  But whatever we talked about that WASNT about sex, getting out of there and getting somewhere more private was on both of our minds from the get go.  An internet hookup has to be like this.  No matter how good the chat conversation is, and no matter how the telephone set up of the date happens, when it becomes reality you agree to meet in neutral place to make sure the chemistry isn't awful.  I don't know how it is for others, but for me, as long as she looks mostly like her picture was and acts fairly pleasant, doesn't smoke or if she does doesn't blow it in my face, doesn't act like she detests me or comes across as so self centered you can't get a word in edgewise, then the fact of the matter is that the nuetral place is just a staging area for where we are going to wind up ...hooking up in the car or a room or in some way.  Once we realize the attraction lives, its trying to deal the cards down to the end of the deck til someone can feel comfortable enough to say in some way that its time to go do this thing we came to do. 

But she was different ...acting like she was so into me with flattering comments and the way she made her eyes at me melted me each time we locked gaze.

"I'm not sure what it is you do to me" she paused and twirled a ringlet of her shoulder length red curls, "But ....ummmm... this effect you are having on me is ...its like im on a drug here,  I am so captivated by you."

"So you have never done the girl thing ?" 

"The girl thing ?  You mean  the lesbian thing ?"

"Yes, the LESBIAN thing," I half mocked myself for not being able to say what I meant. 

"Well no I haven't ...but ... something tells me this is the last night I am going to be able to say that."  She looked down embarrassed but with anticipation for what was to come for both of us.

We had held hands across the table a couple of times in conversation lulls,  but this clasp of each others fingers was one that communicated more.  The grip didn't linger for not wanting to attract attention to ourselves in a small town Ruby Tuesday's, but it felt like torture for me, and I felt for her as well, to not be able to touch each other as our eyes drank each other in. 

"It feels like you trust me," I stated. 

"No reason not to is there ?   If I am acting nervous, I'm really not ...it's just I don't know how to act or what to do or really anything more than...." and she stopped and searched for the words.  The pause went on long enough to where I thought she might not have more to say.

"Or more than what ?"  I smiled.

"See ..I thought I came here to make love with you..to have sex..the NSA ..no strings attached thing.   But this just feels so different and it's about alot more than just sex."


I told her  "I feel completely the same way..and I want you to know that you can ask for anything.   In fact I want you to ask me for whatever you want, and this goes for here in this bar, or wherever we might be heading in a little while...that whatever makes you happy, satisfied, content, whatever helps you realize the highest pleasure is mine."

We both contemplated for a moment when the waiter showed perfect timing in asking us what next, and in her eyes I confirmed that it was time to ask for the check.  She didn't object. We were ready.

 
"What do you think of me?   I'd like to know?   I mean..this is a monumental experience for me and for you ...I mean, you have done this before?"

"Well ...Sherry ...you have this quiet sexuality ..wait ..sensuality is a better word ...its like ...you are one  of those women who can walk into a room of 100 people and everyone notices, everything about the way you walk and your mannerisms and the eye contact you make when you talk suggests a sexuality.  It's like, every woman who sees you simultaneously wants to guard against you fucking her man, while also wondering what it would be like to fuck you themselves...and for that I am very lucky to be in your company tonight. " 

"I wasnt expecting that."

I knew my words had an affect on her and decided to pour it on a little.  "Your eyes and hair and smile ?  Id love to know what you are like when you come ..what you are like when those beautiful eyes are exhuasted from coming all night," I said, lowering my voice to a whisper only she could hear with straining, " When I make love to your pussy, I want every drop of your passion."

We took my car to the hotel and held hands with very little conversation along the way as the nerves were building.  I rather enjoyed this phase of the conquest and my pussy was already aching to be touched and my mind was already ravishing her.   She asked me something nobody ever did before.  "I want to know if I ask you to stop ...can we stop?"  "We can stop at any time."
I thought that this was a trust issue ..that she had no damn intention of stopping ...but needed reassurance that it was ok if the chemistry suddenly became an issue."

We were in the hotel room before we had our first full embrace, with her fully 6 inches shorter than me, I held her against my chest and she locked her arms around my neck.   I looked in her eyes searching for any hint of doubt, but there was absolutely none as our mouths accepted each others tongue.  When i kissed her, her deepest secrets came to the surface ....and flowed right  through me. There was no doubt that most of what she was thinking was penetrating me without any words needed. It was like her whole history of pent up lesbian desires, the buildup of not just our needs we brought to craigs list that led up to that moment and the buildup of the last half hour to this sexual fullfillment, that the hopes, dreams and fears of our future, the next few hours and the next few years, were all there exposed in her deep, vulnerable  open to my tongue and open to anything at that moment kiss. Standing, kissing, my breath quickening and feeling a faint flush and my legs feeling rubbery.  She was saying sweet things in between kisses ...compliments on my lips and tongue.  "I can't tell you how different this is with you....its never been like this," I stated with some truth, while knowing we were both caught up in the moment.  "It's (kiss) very (kiss) difficult to (deeper kiss) go slow with you tonight."   And with that she crossed her arms beneath her and lifted her tunic over her head in one fell swoop.  I gave only one quick squeeze and lift of her breasts and reached around to unclasp her bra.   She had begun to turn around to help me when it unlatched and left her breasts to bobble below my boggled eyes taking in her pink skin and freckled chest a bit blotchy from the heat between us.  She...yes she, the first timer, reached down to undo my jeans and inch them down around my waist, then almost desperately pulled my top the first half of the way over my head ...I finished and didnt stop to accept the admiration of her eyes, unclasping the front hook of my black lacy bra that was on the floor in seconds.  Now skin to skin and both of us only in panties, the soft skin of my large breasts plopped onto her medium ones below them and our embrace was tight, warm, and assuring to us both.  I was buried in her fragrant hair, nippping at an earlobe, then an open mouth, wet mouthed, full tongue, gentle but passionate assault on the nape of her neck  She tugged me down towards the bed and laid me on top of her in a deep french kiss.  Sooooo needing more I disengaged from the kiss to go lower.  I cold never describe the timber in her voice in the "oh gawd yes."  Those are words but don't do justice to what I heard when my mouth engulfed her left breast at the nipple.  I so love to suck on boobs ...like my favorite thing in the world in those moments, and was soon swirling my tongue around her areolas, enjoying the erectness of her nipple, grazing my tongue along the edges.  She had her first lesbian kiss, was now fully involved in her first lesbian sex, and her passion was building with each passing moment.  She reached down to grab hold of one breast of mine, and then another, mumbling "I love your tits ..you have the greatest tits."  I accepted the compliment by moaning into her nipple, sucking in deeply.  

"Are you ready ?"

I slipped off the top of her and on my knees on the floor with her legs draped over the side of the bed ...she strokes my arm while my fingers find her drenched for me. We are making eye contact and she is smiling, laughing, giggling and giddy, and I am too but then my tongue first swipes her clit and I look up and her whole face changes, ecstasy, eyes roll back, jaw drops, hips scrunch into me, and my fingers manipulate her lips spreading for the probing spear of my tongue  This is her first time but she has fantasized this for so long it feels right for both of us.  She instinctively handles her own breasts , massaging and pulling on her nipples quite a bit harder than I would have ..nice to know that she knows what she likes, and I take mental note for later.  Her eyes softly half closed and concentrating on the pleasure my tongue provides.  I like the way my hanging breasts squash across her warm thigh in this position when I lift myself up and stop licking and sucking for a moment to give her better finger, and cherish her beauty.  In looking down upon her pussy,  and with my fingers starting with my pinky and finishing with my thumb, five fingers dragging across her clit like strumming a harp string, and then so wet
while my 2 digits enter her again and again while my other hand seperates her wet lips and gently strokes her clit.   I can only keep my hunger to suck her in check for so long before I dive back down upon her with ever more lust, and as I get more serious there, her breathing and sighing and squirming  let me know we are advancing together. She's not much of a moaner at this point, but thats ok because there are so many other ways she shows me its good.   I love looking up at her towards the headboard, lapping at her as she can see how much I am into this, into her. Again and again, she can only keep her fingers and palms off her breasts for so long before she is back stroking her soft skin or clawing more firmly and aggressively at them.  Watching her play with her tits excites me more, and the pleasure of seeing her bite down on her lower lip when my tongue flicks faster. Her stomach muscles tighten and the grunt comes from deep within.   While I often like to finger and penetrate while licking and sucking the clit, with Sherry I am using both hands to part her lips wide and my cheeks are buried deeply into her pussy, tongue lapping and sucking and her right hand latches on to my left arm and strokes me, but also guides me, when a particular tongue motion excites her greatly, she squeezes harder a wordless communique.

I scrunch downward towards the floor and get a different angle where I lose contact with the beauty of her eyes, but ready myself for her first lesbian orgasm.   I stop for just a moment to massage my breasts, reach down for the wetness between my own aching legs, and then find myself looking upward.  Her beautiful, sweet, wonderful, and yes I have to say, young pussy.   My eyes beaming at its uniqueness, its vibrant beauty and the lips folded around the glistening gap my mouth began to be drawn back to.Placing my fingertips and palms at the equisitely soft skin of her inner thighs and gently pushing her legs wide open ..my first nudge providing the first movement by suggestion, her legs opening all the way in acceptance of what we both wanted..she dropped her hips over the edge of the bed and hung her cunt right there for me to suck and drink in.  And then a tiny thurst  of her hips into my face as my tongue touched...to not only find comfort, but also to exemplify her anxiousness to get along with it. My tongues sensual caress became an exaggerating motion and her hands clasped the back of my head and though I couldnt see from my vantage point, I knew she had half sat up and was tensing for the no longer to be denied climax. 

Before her explosion, one of my fingers came down to my own need.  I guess I've fingered myself while giving head to guys, but don't remember ever doing it while going down on a woman.  But I was so into it. The tingling and aching sensation within me became deep desire as if my heart would leap right out.  There is a feeling I dearly love ...when the wetness begins to trickle from me...seeping and trickling down my thigh ..its not a gush but its just that masturbation is absolutely wonderful in so many ways, and in my distant past, sex with men had momentary thrills, but it was only when making out with another woman did my pussy produce moisture in abundance to where I could squeeze the walls of my vagina and feel that warm squish, the wetm stream down my thighs, and the excitement of knowing how SHE was going to react when she felt how wet I was for her. Only her. The position I was in enhanced this "drip" and it excited me to feel such a reaction to myself.  Oh forgive me for the vanity of this statement ..but I'd have have loved to have been buried in my own pussy at that moment.  But, the next best thing, was being buried in Sherrys, and the walls of her vagina were pulsating against my two thrusting fingers and her ability to keep quiet during all this was shattered as she began to convulse and undulate.  I went from sucking her clit with my mouth and fingering her, to reversing the roles....tweaking and very very rapidly rubbing her stiff clit to orgasm while my tongue probed deeper - it was passionate without being predatory. 



As wave upon wave upon another surprising wave of orgasm built and released I wondered if it would ever stop , and when my "newbie" did it all to me with her first time, yet expert technique, if there would come a moment that night when she wasn't able to coax another screaming orgasm from me.

For a casual encounter ..a no strings attached lesbian blind date from craigs list meeting for seemingly sex and only sex, there was alot of love in that room in the afterglow.  Such soft caressing and hardly able to say goodbye.

Oprah Winfrey Does Porn For Women - And I got a huge compliment

Oprah Winfrey did a show on women who love porn and erotica and came up with a figure of something like 1 in 3 women do it, to which I am sure 2 in 3 were aghast, and the rest of us went "I am not alone ! " But best thing was Violet Blue did the best job ever of explaining the difference between porn and erotica, and I would like to share that.  

"Porn is something that is a graphic sexual image that conjures up an animalistic reaction in you. You like it or you don't," she says. "Erotica also is graphic sexual imagery, but it has an extra component or several extra components that resonate with the viewer—be it artistic, be it passionate, be it something that emotionally engages you, be it something that parlays into a fantasy that you have about sexuality or the way that you relate to the people on screen."

If you're overwhelmed or intimidated by porn, Violet suggests a little online exploration. "The Internet has really made it possible for the average woman to peruse porn in safety and on her own terms," she says. "Women can engage with other women about porn online, as well.




Next ...I am a contributer to the top online amateur erotica site, "Literotica," and entered my story about "Young Kate" on Literotica.    I got the biggest complimentary review:

"What a perfectly marvelous tale of lesbian seduction, and sweet satisfaction. Kate's willing acceptance of her older friend's sapphic overtures was handled with just the right combination of finesse and repressed lust. Brenda is true to her calling and it's so pleasing to see how sweetly she brings her teenage protege into the lesbian appreciation society. When I read such a wonderfully-composed story, I have to imagine such a discovery happening in real life....as I'm sure it does.

Your talent for the subject is too obvious to deny. How many sexually-frustrated married moms are out there just waiting for the right opportunity to explore their bi-side ?


Oprah and the review made for a good day.  And I have a crush that is as big as the cornfields in the midwest.

Finally, a little housecleaning for regular readers...I wrote a teaser about making love with a strap on recently, and a couple have written to ask me how that went or how it is going.  Short answer, ain't gonna happen.  At least not at this point in my life.  I am not ready and she and I are no longer anticipating intimacy.
Almost finished with my latest and will post on Friday :   THANK you for reading this blog, check out the archives, friend me on facebook, and send me an email at akiss2desire@gmail.com

ONE OF THE TOP 50 LESBIAN DATING BLOGS

As a blog writer I sometimes come across another blog that has won some kind of award of recognition.  I get some wonderful and thankful emails from the readers of this blog, but the accolades have been few and far between, and probably deservingly so because what I write about is so niche.  I was thrilled to open my email this week and find that this blog has been named one of the "Top 50 Lesbian Dating Blogs." by Lesbian and Dating.net  http://www.lesbiandating.net/blog/.  Not only was I honored, but a few of my favorite blogs were noted for which I was honored to be named in the same post as.  I am truly not worthy, but will keep at it :)  If anyone knows of an award or accolade I could put my blog in the running for, do me a solid and email me here. Thank You So Much.

I'm a Lesbian Phone Sex Mentor

I'm A Lesbian Phone Sex Mentor
Lesbian Erotica by akiss2desire
all right reserved
feedback to akiss2desire@gmail.com 
We were talking on the phone about how much we wanted to be together ...how much we missed each others touch. While we both tiptoed around the L word (love ...the lesbian part was no longer in question for either of us) we each were very comfortable telling each other how wonderful the other was as a lover. It was just small talk...lovey dovey talk ..and pretty much, could have been construed as "just checkin in to let you know I am thinking about you" talk until she started to give me indications that she was interested in being more intimate than our devotional, flirtatious conversations had gotten us to.

What I would prefer to call "phone intimacy," but most would call phone sex, and who am I to deny that, is something that I have not only dabbled in a dozen wonderful times from some genuinely wonderful, erotic, and vocally orgasmic women I have met through the vast exploration of my lesbian self on the two dimensional internet. It became a great way to take something that I did (we all did ?) a time or two before getting "over" it pretty quickly, cyber sex, and take that to another, more personal, and intimate level. I think that pretty much, when you meet a woman, (a real woman ..and I know that is not always an easy thing) in a chatroom, it pretty much answers alot of questions in that there isn't much doubt that the two of us have arrived with our lesbian sexuality at the very least on our mind, and likely, time and privacy permitting, will be handed over to each others own fingers, palms, and / or the trusty vibe. Getting to the point of trusting someone enough to make that leap with you , and you trusting them as well, means that over the years, phone sex with women ...online strangers who became over the course of an afternoon or a few talks and emails the gasping and sultry voiced sisters in mutual orgasmic bliss thanks to AT & T, was pretty much few and far between. And while I realize that what I am describing is far from something considered as "real sex," and is understandably not for everyone, (the "You say it best when you say nothing at all" amongst us), for me as a small town closet bisexual (lesbian !) mom with very little free time and a few long dry spells between skin to skin lovers, the "phone thing" has been something I have enjoyed over the years as a way to come WITH someone as opposed to just coming alone inspired by whatever chat, vid, or passionate lesbian erotica that was available to coincide with the "me time" I had set aside for my favorite pastime since my first masturbatory orgasm when I was in 5th grade.

I remember the first two phone sex experiences I had. I had been propositioned a few times for it and had turned it down..and that was with women I had been chatting with regularly, I just wasn't ready to do "THAT" with a woman, although I had done it with boyfriends a few times and also with two different guys from the internet, both coincidentally from Alabama, (don't know why that sticks with me) and both of whom hung up as SOON as they reached orgasm. Left me very cold. The time I finally did it was with a girl who was curious and inexperienced ...at the time I had only been with two women myself ...and she said something like "I hope I am not being too forward but I was wondering if we could call each other and see whatever happens." I have to say it was very weird at first and neither of us knew what to say, but each of us shared our orgasms with one another in descriptions of what we'd do with each other gasped between moans and other sounds of sexual excitement ..and to ME it was soooo good that I wanted to do it again with her. However, she had a religious epiphany and claimed that her lesbian feelings were wrong in the eyes of the church ...you've heard of women turning other women gay???? Apparently, at least at that time in her life, phone sex with me had turned a woman well on her way to the glory of lesbian experiences straight. Bummer !

The second experience ..(as well as the 3rd, 4th and a few more after that) was with a woman in the DC area with whom I was talking about meeting with. We never did that, although it had been a possibility unfullfilled for about a year. But, in her office, she could talk with me in a normal conversational tone, pretending she was on a business call if someone came up, and while her "sexy" talk was very limited in this situation, she very much ...and I very much ...enjoyed the buildup of my own orgasms on phone and sharing them with her that way. Her relief would come when I was done, she would excuse herself to the ladies room. It was dangerous and wonderful and I soooo much wish she had become a lover in the flesh.

In my lesbian phone sex experiences I developed a preference to be already turned on and at the point of getting off before the call was made ..and for the conversation to NOT be about "what I will do to you and you to me," although, because that's what some of the women I called clearly wanted, I, as the giving lover I am ..even on the phone ...gave into that mentality.

Now, it must not go unsaid the times that there was a man on the other end of the call I made was numerous. I've no interest in writing about this other than to say it is just AWFUL ...the worst was the woman who started doing it with me, and her man picked up the phone and said the most vile and disgusting things I could ever hear ..as if that would cause me to continue. It STILL makes my stomach turn to think of it. Yes ..I had been fooled completely a few times into believing, or WANTING to believe that a character on the other end of chat was who they said they were. You live and learn, but it never made me quit seeking these enjoyable to me experiences.

With trust I've found release this way more times than I can believe ...and most everytime it happened it was fulfilling. I love the compliments of how "sexy" my voice is, or the college student in North Carolina who did it with me 3 times over the course of several years who sought me out in saying, "I just love the way you sound when you let it go," and the apparently fairly rich housewife in Houston who I showed me her cam while I watched her on the vid and heard her through the phone to volcanic results. She was at one point , at least she said, willing to fly to Virginia to be with me if I could block out a weekend ...something a bi-mom in the closet can't do.

One woman did in fact share a phone orgasm with me before we shared a bed ...but again, I had not really had a phone thing with anyone AFTER I had done it. However, phone sex with strangers, or at the very least, women from far enough away that they aren't possibly just coming over for coffee anytime soon, being something in my comfort zone, doing it with someone who has been your lover, or might potentially be a skin to skin quenching of the constant lesbian thirst, is something I never experienced. And I wouldn't probably initiate it ...but she had never done this ..and apparrently she got a bug up her butt to provoke me ...and this erotic conversation and experience ensued.


"I just wish you were here to hold me." I said. Our relationship has room for much romance in addition to the sex and I was trying to let her know I was on the same page as her where thats concerned.

"I want to do so much more than hold you." --- A usual flirtatious remark, but this time was different. Her voice as she said this told me as much as the words did...there was an absolutely, unmistakeably horny lilt in her voice ...so much so that I wondered if she hadn't already begun to touch herself. That thought urged my palm directly towards my own pulsing need.

"Do you know how good your tongue is babe...I mean seriously, do you have any earthly idea just how amazing it is when you do what you do with your mouth?" she gushed, making me gush in a totally different sense of the word.

"Well...I've been told some things," I smiled ...laughed a little ...relaxed a little and enjoyed her affectionate comments.

"I mean...sometimes you are licking me or sucking on my clit and I am thinking "how do you know how to do this to me," and I guess I ...I mean ..I just think its not just cause it's cause we are two women ...it's...."

I finished her thought "...its because I care so much for you.....its because everything that I want to experience flows through you and the pleasure you feel ...its like ever time I hear you moan or cause your legs to quiver or quake, its like I feel that all through my own body."

"I am feeling that with you too ...but", her voice trailed into resignation and lack of confidence, "I don't think, when we're making love ...I just don't think that I'm doing to you what you do to me."

"Oh STOP that ...don't say things like that ...do you need me to moan even louder ? " I said enthusiastically, and I realized she just needed reassurance, and searched my mind for the right thing to say. "When you go down on me, (its always a struggle to choose those words when I am thinking "eat me," or "suck me") "its like I feel alot more than just what your tongue and fingers do ...you understand ? I can feel ...its almost like I can feel what you are thinking."

"It's never been like that with anyone else," she said softly ...in resignation that I was right.

"....Sooooo
ummm
have you ever had phone sex with any girls?
"I have," I confidently admitted.
"Welllll...how um....how does ... exactly does that work ...i mean..Ive done it with boys and all ..but ...how does it work if its a girl?"

My voice lowered in timber to find a seductive tone," Is that a proposition baby?"

"I think so (she whined slightly)...I mean...I don't know... but ...I just can't tell you how horny I've been today and I just wish you could be here ...right now..I'd attack you. But ...I'm just asking...how you do that ...I never did it before."

I laughed the truthful laugh, "there's alot I've done you haven't done," and she laughed as well with me. I continued, "You never had a girl like me who you could phone fuck with....but now...maaayyybbe you do."

"Well I don't want to make a jerk of myself..I just don't know how...so HOW have you done it?"

In the low timber I admitted, "I've had some good experiences that way to be honest."

"You have ?"

"Always orgasmic thats for sure."

I realized that by the fact we were so deep into talking about HOW it could happen, already meant that for the most part, we were already having sex this way ...and even though I'd done this before, I must relate that I was still nervous in how to proceed and where it was going. "I think the times i did it ...I did it with girls i met online in aol and yahoo chatrooms...there was this one girl who would chat with me online and we'd exchange these very erotic pictures ..and anyway ..she was at work and I was at home and I'd be like "I wanna be with you when you come ..I want to hear your moans and all that." So ..she would say as long as I was cool with it that she was in an office with an open door and couldnt be doing alot herself ...but wanted me to call her and so sure enough, we'd be talking and whispering and id be masturbating and eventually coming .and as it was building up, she would have to greet people that came in in her normal office voice..."yeah...i called that client and she said it would be taken care of..." or something like that and ..like sometimes the conversations would take a few seconds ...or a minute ...and then she'd back with me with,'"ok Im alone" and we'd start back up. What she would do is be with me on the phone until I got off and sometimes got off again ..and then she'd eventually get to go to the bathroom and finish herself. I couldnt hear that part ..but I could definitely hear how excited she was getting while maintaining her professionalism in the office. It was an extreme turn on and we did this about 7 or 8 times."

Though I could still hear the horniness in her voice,she could always get me talking about something when she was intrigued about something, especially something sexual. She just saw me, it seems, as such a sexual mentor. "So like ..how did you ...like did you describe what you'd do...i mean..with the guys I've done it with, we like ..I'd basically describe how i'd suck it ...you know..how id give him head and then hearing him beat off and breathing hard and telling me how good it was when we were making love would excite me and eventually he'd come ..and a couple of times I did too ..but usually I just faked an orgasm ....but it was still pretty hot. Mostly I just wanted to hear him beat off ya know ....Oh I am sooo sick and perverted."

"You aren't sick...I think alot of people do it."

"So its just like having phone sex with a guy ..but just with a girl? " She had it a little too simple, but I think she just was ready to start doing SOMETHING ....it was a segue comment.

"No ..you know its different without even asking me. It's just about being with someone while you are turned on ...I mean I did it with one girl and .."

"Brenda," she interrupted, "just HOW many times have you done it with girls ..if you dont mind me asking."

"I don't mind ...its like...well ...its more than ....its around a dozen women I guess....and like .its different every time. Like I was saying with one girl, she wants to tell you all this, if we were together first i'd do this and then I'd do that to you" and I just wasn't really into it that much. There have been a few that wanted it that way ..and I just have to explain to them thats not me. But ...its better to just be with someone that you know is as turned on as you and hear each other getting closer and coming. But its to each their own I guess. I think every time I ever did it I was already completely soaked by the time we even dialed up ..so the coming and the moans and groans were unavoidable."

I heard a smile in her voice. "Well...I wanna with you....will you with me?"

"I'll do anything with you...just know its different with you because ...we make love."

""Maybe it's better," she said astutely."so how do we do this." I guess it's up to me ...wondering if I was up to the challenge.

"Well ..I don't need to ask you if you're horny cause you already are telling me that," I said.

"....yeah....i mean...do YOU want to ..its not just about me?"

"Oh gawd I'm so wet every time we talk ..no matter what."

"yeah me too"

"its always like that"

"yeah ..me too"

"Well ...why don't you explain to me ..not what you'd do to ME ..but I'd like to know what its like when you make yourself come ...like when you are alone .."

That was an idea...but I had other ideas and would clip comfortably into another way of building her excitement.

"Well ...I usually, almost always start with my boobs and just stroke them and grasp one or then the other sometimes....my nipples get....ummm... erect ...stiff...and begin to ache a pleasant ache ..and then sooner or later I start to finger myself a little and then, alot, and when its time to come I go fast and concentrate more and try to let it go the most i can ...so I find if I let myself make noise I can come longer and harder and better. "

"I want to watch you do that," she said, and I replied, "and I want to watch you do yourself." "We can do that sometime." "Yeah maybe."

"Do you use one hand or two," she asked.

"I use both ...but its hard to do that with one hand on the phone " I laughed," I think I almost always do it like I use my left hand when I start and get it wet and get relaxed...and then, I lick my fingers on my right hand so they are warm and wet when they ...ummm...join in ..and then its like its on...and then its like...my right hand is either fingering my clit at various speeds ..and textures ...and my other hand is either pulling back my lips, or touching whatever other erogenous zones demand attention ...or are squeezing and lifting my tits." I knew what I was telling her was exciting her and could hear her breathing indicate I was having an effect on her. I began to tickle my clit as I talked to her and imagined she was already going over herself...I just wondered how far so far ..but I didn't dare yet ask.

"Do you suck on your tits while you are doing it ? " she inquired.

"Almost every time at least a little. Not much but I like to be reminded of both how it feels to have them sucked..and you know how much I love sucking on a woman's breasts. And yours darling are the most wonderful."

"Whys that?"

"The skin is so soft and creamy, your nipples get so hard in between my lips, and oh...mmmmm ," I moaned into the phone," "I'm thinking of how good it feels to suck them and feel you react, and finger your wet pussy while I do it."

Her breathing was shallow and response almost terse..."you are?"

She was getting hornier by the second ..or, like me, had started this process that way. We were going fast and it was time for me to take her.

" Why dont you take your fingers and circle them around your nipples. Tell me about your npples."

Well that makes them large..and hard.

"Pinch them...pull them away from you."

"mmm kay' The gasp and sound of excitment in her voice let me know she was doing as I directed.

I began to show my own excitement heightening now as I spoke to her ...forcing out on a few words or a phrase in betweenpauses while I considered what to say next...and while I considered what motion to provide to my pussy, teasing it with my free hand, but not fully furiously fingering just yet. "when I suck on your npples baby....(pause) I love how hard they (pause) are (long breath adn a pause) ...the way the get soooo stiff in between my lips....ohhhhh gawd it feels so good to suck your nipples."

"are you fignering your pussy like I love to do?" She asked...perhaps willing to assert control, but I was not ready to pass the baton. "Yes...slowly teasing...keeping it interested...but don't you do it yet...keeping pinching your nipples for me...do you want my mouth on your tits ?" "yes" "Then suck....your....nipple for me...put the phone down if you need to im here...im with you." "I dont need to ." and the wonderful sound of her sucking her nipple came through the phone line. She moaned into both the phone and her tit, and my pussy throbbed even more. "i'm gonna suck on mine now mmm kay." and the answer I got was a muffled moan into her tit which I could imagine she was really sucking on hard.

"are you ready for my fingers now baby" "aauuughh" which I took to mean yes, and the sound was a clear releife for she was needing to advance.

I said a word I almost never say ...but thought for certain it would make her hotter ..for it would make me hot to say it. "Tell me how et your .....cunt is?" I ennunciated the word like a news broadcaster. The timber of her voice went a full pitch higher. "ooooh..im sooooo wet. Oh how I need to come."

"not yet baby...not yet...please wait for me." And what she said back was a faint "uh huh" but I could hear in her voice she was losing control.

"Oh please please please please Brenda," she moaned the whispered words. "Please what bbaby," "suck my pussy like you do ...please make me come ..oh..mmmm..please I need to let it go."

"I wanna put my lips around it, suck it like a little stiff cock and twist my tongue all around it," I said and them moaned, "mmnnggg" while my tongue made the motion in the air in front of me.

"suck ...my.....cunt" she said the word back to me and I rumbled head to toe with an electrical charge of excitment while my fingers crawled inside me to add top the sensation of my circling thumb on my clit. "Im fucking myself but I can only think of you."

"I want you to take your finger and slowly circle your clit...not on your clit..jus slowly around it...at the base of it...push against it...but not right on your clit...can you do that." "yes...oh yes...." "now get your finger in your wet pussy," "so wet", (now long hard breaths between each word if not syllable" and ////baby ...///its.///time...to////finger yourself...as fast as my tongue wants to lick your pussy and feel your juices all over my lips, and chin, and ..." and that was it for me and...for her too.

We quit talking ..we both started panting, moaning, calling each others name, sometimes one after the other, sometimes at the same time. "im coimng ," followed by a predictable "I'm coming too," and the sounds of both of our convulsions and orgasmic delights went into our phones and to each others ears and loins and further into each others hearts.

Akiss2desire on Chat Rooms, Cyber Sex, Phone Sex, and buying a Strap On for Lacy

This is probably my most personal, revealing post ever.  Letting it out here.   Think I found the right picture to illustrate though..except I am bbw and Lacy is ..well she isnt.

There is someone I met online that is captivating me in a way that I have not been captivated by an online friend in many a year.   Lacy is UBER smart ..while it is probably clear to those who read my writing often that I am far from it.  She is my needle in a haystack ...the woman I hope to meet (as in for real...not just online)  who lives 2 hours drive nearby and makes me feel comfortable enough to believe that we can take what we are doing online to the next level.   We have made love on the phone, next for us is a real meet with a comfortable bed. We are ready for stage three ...and she has gotten me to do something I thought I might never do ...which I will more fully explain at some point ..but she has gotten me to order a strap-on. Oh I know the hard core lesbians that read my blog are having a good laugh about that ..why I feel so tramatized LOL.  But, she has convinced me its what she wants and prefers when / if we make love ..and the concession I have asked of her is that we don't use it the first time we are together.  SO ...first time without, and if there is a second time, I presume I am going to be doing something I have never been sure I'd be comfortable with ..but I am a giver in bed, and her experiences have led her to believe that this is not only what SHE wants, but also, what I would want when we are together.  It's coming in the mail.  I did it.  I ordered it after agonizing over whether or not I should spend the money and which one to buy.   So be it.   (Am I a dyke now ?) So, let me give you history / background on the online experience that has come to this point.

First of all, I don't engage in cybersex but that is not to say that while we talk we are not having some sort of sex ...its just not typing what we'd do to each other.  I need to admit that I have been getting off with women and unfortunately and unintentionally men pretending to be women for what is now 16 years ...after the first cyber experiences at age 16 with first men, then women met in AOL chatrooms.   There were soooo many men who were seeking someone underage, who got the immediate boot, and the ones who didn't quite believe I was really 16 or even female, but still hung on to conversations curiously were less of a turn on as well.   I developed a rapore with a lesbian wife of a farmer, something a little too similar to what I have now become so many years later, who didn't live but an hour away from me, and who was the first to require that I call her to prove I was female.  After that, we had some extremely steamy conversations online but she said she would not actually do anything with me sexually until I was 18.   I remember trying pretty hard to pursuade her to change her mind ...it wasn't to be and we lost touch without consummating.  It has been a long time but I seem to remember at just the time she said she would give in and meet me ...she vanished.   Back then I would do the kind of cybersex that is "i do this and you do that."   At that stage in my life I was bi-curious by definition ...having not actually done the things I was typing about doing.  I am now not interested in that ...does nothing for me, I don't know why.    I do remember that at that time I would play online with men and boys and had typed out and saved my description of the perfect blowjob.   WHY did it seem like so much fun to get guys off with the same description cut and pasted again and again ...ONE time even posing as a boy and talking with another boy from a nearby high school, exposing his own bi curious side.   These were interesting experiences in primative social networking situations.   Some of this has changed, some has not as I am solicited on a day off with privacy by online friends and acquaintances on facebook,   AIM (which I am new to and learning) and yahoo, which   Yes, when I have a morning off, or a whole day with privacy and can let myself believe that I can waste time online like this, I go looking for love in the wrongest of places just HOPING to find the needle in a haystack friend or lover ...or orgasmic experience ...preferring to find someone to explore  phone intimacy with (a nice girls word for phone sex) because that at least answers the question as to whether or not it is one of the numerous men pretending to be lesbians online. Years ago when yahoo had rooms that were VERY specific, such as "bi virginia moms," (those rooms aren't around anymore) I actually found not one but two lovers that are two of the better experiences with women I have had.   I never rule out that it could happen that way again, but the bi virginia mom rooms, the lesbian phone sex rooms, and the like, are long gone. 

And so, as it goes, half of any conversation online is determining who is jerking my chain. At some point is a determination as to whether our conversation will be about past experiences, future desires, or just chit chat with an erotic bent.  I always think that when you meet someone in a lesbian chatroom, the questions of "are we horny" are pretty much already answered.  But those looking for picture exchange (only), video chatting, cybersex are dismissed, I always hope to find someone who is either nearby enough to consider really meeting, or at least interest me, and I her, enough for a connection to be established and excitement to become foreplay for the masturbatory morning that becomes a shared experience.  I always go to chatrooms first when I plan to masturbate, and if it does not work out there I move on to finding lesbian erotica or trying to find flat out lesbian pornography that seems somewhat genuine and not so fake ...a difficult task....but, always gets the juices flowing and the desired effect achieved.  (have you figured out how much I love to masturbate yet ? LOL)  

Then there is lesbian phone sex.  I wrote about it before, but its just a very intimate thing to connect across the country with someone like that.  Meet in a lesbian chatroom and everyone knows from the start that we both are horny.  Now what to do with it.  I am a noisy orgasmer when I can be...it lets me let it out.  So much more interesting to me to masturbate with emotion rather than just technique ...and the few times that I have actually made a phone connection, it has been a very erotic experience. Arriving at orgasm, hearing her arrive at orgasm that either my chat words or words from this blog have inspired.  Yes, when its over I feel a little guilty and ...where is the cuddling and afterglow ...not there at all.  But for something more than static finger it and get it done masturbation, cybersex will never do it for me because of the likelihood that it is not a woman you are really talking to.  Those questions are answered wholeheartedly on phone. 

Ok...I am getting jaded a bit after so many years and hearing so many lines and being able to predict 85 to 95% of what anyone is going to say or do or react online in chat ...so thats why Lacy is the absolute exception to everyone I ever talked with. For one thing, she is lesbian, not bisexual, and at 26, 6 years younger than me, is as plain jane as to the casual observer as they come.  I think she is absolutely beautiful, but the nerd look glasses, pictures she has sent me with no makeup and the topless pictures show her as no larger than a B cup with the longest, pinkest, most succulent nipples I ever imagined.  She has only ever been with one woman, and her 4 year relationship broke off and left her devastated.  Her sincere earnestness in our conversations has thrilled me to no end.  I haven't yet ...and may never...told her of this blog.  She uses five dollar words with ease, talks about politics and issues and relationships in a category of understanding that is so far beyond me, yet never makes me feel dumb or uneducated or anything other than the girl she has become close to. She doesn't nag me to "come out," like most other true lesbians I have chatted with, and doesn't judge my situation.  She doesn't mind that I am a "big girl."   She, I think, totally understands my need to give pleasure.  

When Lacy and I talk about sex, she shares that her former girlfriend was wonderful to her at first, but they have had so called "lesbian bed death," for the past 3 years and yet never broke  it off until she came home and caught her cheating with her best friend, a girl who she had spurned the advances of to stay true to her roomate, only to catch her roomate in bed with.  Its against the backdrop that she wont even consider a relationship with anyone, and thus, feels like I am perfect for her in that I am ill equipped for anything more than casual sex ...having said that, I am incapable of anything approaching the normal definition of casual sex, as I get my emotions fully involved with anyone I care for, and I don't think she completely understands that I secretly wish for something more with her than what she apparently sees me as.   Anyway...everyone has a way that they like to make love.  For me, I am most comfortable making out, giving oral, giving oral some more, giving alot more oral, maybe a little more oral ...and I like to come too, by tribbing and also, by a returned favor of lots of oral  combined with lots and lots of breast play.  It takes alot for me to get mentally in a place where I can lay back and be "done."  Mostly, she has to convince me that it is what SHE needs is to give me that pleasure ...and if I can mentally get there, I can finally relax and let her ravish me.  (and ravishing is good )  What else can I share.   Well, I get off having my nipples sucked and my tits massaged I think alot more than other women, (as I so enjoy doing that to them) and even though my pussy is screaming for attention from a lovers mouth, I always hate the moment when her mouth leaves my boobs to explore elsewhere ....it does beg for an eventual consummation of the lesbian threesome if one lover can just stay on my tits the whole time I am getting eaten (but thats alot to ask for I know.)  I never want deep penetration, but a little goes a long with men when fingers are joined by mouth.   Once my orgasms start to roll, I am considered multi-orgasmic, and not what they call a squirter but defintely a drencher.  Mostly, the love I love to make with a woman is more about intimacy rather than technique and urgency ...preferring to make out and feel all of the connection.  Not that I havent done a few things, but most would consider me a pretty vanilla and non-kinky lover.  Having said that, I have been fisted once and I do understand how that makes one feel which goes ALOT deeper than just the sexual release.  Was SO INTENSE, and I have to be in the right place mentally for that to ever happen again.  I was in love with the girl who did me that way, and took me there so softly, slowly and gently that we were both amazed in the experience. 

Well, back to the subject at hand, Lacy (of course that isnt her real name)  does love to make love the way I do from all she has said, but also, she won't give up the need for me to fuck her and not just with a vib or a dildo, but she insists what she wants and  needs is me to wear one  ..which she guarantees I will enjoy as much as she.  Well, frankly, it is hard for me to imagine myself with a big rubber dick hanging from my pussy.  I want to try new things and want to be open, especially after the things that Lacy has said to me.    I have never done toys with a woman in bed, and even though I fantasize about the strap on thing and always have, something about it doesn't seem quite right. ..and yet, I admit, something about it intrigues me enough to think that if I am fucking her and we are in total synch with each other emotionally as well as physically, then something about fucking a girl that way seems just right.  Maybe someone can explain to me these hesitations I feel.   I am just afraid that when its the big rubber dick in between us that I am going to lose a connection with her, but what do I have to gain ?   Maybe the more experienced with strap ons can help me.  Lacy says that it will all make sense when I fuck her.  I never had a woman so talk me into something I had been thinking I might never do.  But, its not about the orgasms I am considering this, it is because SHE WANTS this and I WANT to do it with her.  Even as I write this I am considering doing it with her the FIRST time.  Now, as I mentioned, I love grinding . Pussy to thigh, and with trust and comfort, pussy to pussy in sitting up positions and missionary as well with proper effort.   Yes, when tribbing, I have wanted to get deeper, but ..thats with me, not an extension of me.  I keep saying I can get the job done with my fingers and tongue and lips, but Lacy just have a great way of convincing me that when our breasts are bouncing together and her legs are wrapped around me that I will understand what she needs, and because she also understand what a giver I am, she realizes I think that she is tugging my heartstrings in that I always want to do whatever to get my lover off.  So ...we are planning a meeting ..and I have ordered this thing ..and I have to admit the naughty side of me that can't wait to try it on and see how it feels.  Just almost laughing at the thought of me and my strap on dick.  OH MY GAWD ...funny. 

Now ...I know that many women with LOTS more experience with toys and dildos and strap ons read this and are probably laughing and calling me naive or something. Help me understand please.  I just know what I like and prefer ..but Lacy has me convinced that this new experience is going to change me.  I haven't told her I have it, and I am sure she expects to bring hers but when we meet for that second time, if it happens, I am going to surprise her with it. My enchantment with her words and her voice has me doing things I wondered if I ever would ...now I share with you a newfound excitement to find something I am sure most lesbians take as what feels right for them.   She wants me to be her first since the painful breakup ...and I want to give to her all she needs and wants. Its the giver in me. I can't wait to know what its like, and I am tempted to do it with her the first time, but for now, am sticking to my guns and saying no toys our first time.  But I can't help but feel that there will be that moment where she needs more than I have :)I want to give her all I have because she is a very special woman. 

feedback to akiss2desire@gmail.com